Friday, December 27, 2002

He said, She said Diplomacy

Now that North Korea has admitted that they have already developed nuclear weapons in violation of the agreement of 1994 President Bush must decide how to handle two ends of the Axis of Evil simultaneously. The Administration is mulling over strategies to take on North Korea diplomatically while attacking Iraq with a "vast coalition" that they are cobbling together. I'm surprised the obvious hasn't occurred to them. This is actually a splendid opportunity and should be handled the way any high schooler would. Colin Powell should surprise everyone and make a trip to Baghdad to meet Saddam. After having lunch with the Iraqi dictator he should proceed on to Pyongyang to have dinner with Kim Jong-il, the alien life form that rules North Korea. While at dinner Powell should whisper in Kim's ear that Saddam thinks Kim's hair is positively the goofiest he's ever seen. And besides that, Saddam is telling all the other dictators that Kim can't keep any of his kidnapped Scandinavian hos satisfied. Powell should get Kim really pissed off before shuttling back to Baghdad to tell Saddam that Kim said that his lips were fat like a camel's and show him Kim's Little Red Book of Saddam Jokes that the CIA created in their fake documents lab. Powell should keep this up until Iraq and North Korea attack and annihilate each other. We won't have to fire a missile.

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