Muskogee Educators Crack Down on Finger Pointing and Saying "Kapow!"

As reported by the Tulsa World and Channel 6 News, a 12-year-old Creek Elementary School student was first expelled and then placed in school detention for 5 days for pointing his finger at other students and saying "kapow!" The child's mother complained to the school principal that her son's punishment was out of proportion with the crime. Muskogee school authorities defended their actions by explaining that they will not tolerate such indiscriminate "finger-play" in their schools. "You can't be too careful these days," said Bernice Hopley, a teacher at the school." "First they start pointing fingers and going "pow, pow" and the next thing you know they are mass murderers."

Idiotorial: The radioshow shockjocks are roasting the Muskogee authorities over the fire for overreacting to what some call innocent horseplay. What these "journalists" scoff at is America's serious need to secure the homeland. What the liberal media types aren't telling the public is that research has shown that what they consider mild horseplay often leads to bigger problems. Here are the facts:

Fact #1 Over 70 million people have tried pointing their fingers and saying "kapow!". Most finger pointers soon escalate to jabbing and use of the "evil eye". Indeed, for the vast majority of people, finger pointing is the first threatening act they try, a "gateway" to other threatening acts.

Fact #2 Finger pointing is the most popular threatening act in the United States today. Therefore, people who have used less popular forms of violence such as actually shooting people with real guns or stabbing people with real live knives, are likely to have first tried finger pointing.

Fact #3: Finger pointers have lower achievement, more acceptance of deviant behavior, more aggression and poorer relationships with their parents. Finger pointing and saying "kapow!" correlates with higher rates of delinquency, arrests and failure in school. Dr. Gabriel Nemo of Columbia University states that throughout history, finger pointing has been associated with mental disturbances ranging from distorted perception to schizophrenia. According to Dr. Akira Watanabe, a specialist in violent behavior, "I have never found any other gesture, including the "OK" sign, which came close to the psychic damage caused by pointing and saying kapow". Babies born to mothers who used finger pointing during pregnancy developed health problems similar to drug users.

We at OkiePundit believe the Muskogee school authorities did the right thing by severely punishing the deviant elementary school thug and snipping the finger pointing in the bud before something even more serious happened.

New Religion Founded ... Just in Time
I've just created a new religion which I am tentatively calling biboism. It is based on the revealed thought of Burns Hargis. The name is tentative because I want to have a contest to see who can come up with the best name for the new religion. If this is going to be a religion to last a thousand years it's got to have a good name. There is a reason, after all, that the Christian religion has stood the test of time and Zoroastrianism didn't. I want it to be convincing as the objective is to qualify for some of the faith-based initiative grants that the Bush Administration is showering churches with.

We have to hurry though because the GOP's giving frenzy will hit a peak before the November elections. It may be another two years before we have a chance to rake in more free money. I'm thinking we can set up a recovery center for term-limited State Senators - probably in McAlester - and qualify for tons of the public's money under the Bush faith-based program. Sure, it was designed to help Christian and Jewish groups but they really can't deny those of us on the fringe. To deny us would put their whole program in jeopardy. The Evangelicals would rather toss a little our way than to risk losing their cash cow. The way I see it, when the Senators show up at our Recovery Center we can introduce them to the Word as they receive our help. Chances are they'll see that Bibo (the spirit name for Burns Hargis) is the way to salvation and our flock will soon be both cash rich and growing - all at taxpayers expense! So send in your suggestions for a name for our religion: Send to thehoot@keromail.com

Talk among businessmen in Oklahoma these days is about how former Congressman Steve Largent is taking his election for granted. Supporters of Largent are perplexed and frustrated with Largent's lack of visibility around the state. One supporter of Largent was overheard saying that the Largent campaign had told him not to worry, that they had plenty of money to buy up TV for his ads. They plan on winning the election with overwhelming media presence. The Largent campaign seems to be cocksure of their winning position but their supporters are nervous.

Meanwhile, everyone is dumfounded that Brad Henry won the Democratic nomination to run against Largent. The expectation was that Orza was going to win, partly because Orza had been 14% points ahead of Henry in the primary in August. Henry mounted an amazing come from behind effort and closed in the last few days. The last polls had not captured his move into the lead. Henry had attacked Orza for being in favor of right-to-work and against union issues. It seemed to work with the Democratic faithful but it is likely to backfire in the general election. Right-to-work, after all was passed by popular vote in an election earlier in 2002. He may have won the primary but lost the general election.

Of course this was the plan of the Daily Oklahoman, which endorsed Brad Henry. Anyone the least familiar with the Daily Oklahoman knows it is extremely Republican and anti-union. Talk among the knowing is that the Daily Oklahoman endorsed Henry over Orza because Gaylord (owner) expected that Henry would be much less likely to beat Largent than would Orza. Orza was pro-business, wealthy, moderate, and appealed even to Republicans (which he used to be). Such a man could beat Largent and the Daily Oklahoman wasn't going to let that happen. Largent has already met with and been blessed by Gaylord. Of course, for a newspaper to endorse a candidate because it believes he can be beat by your preference is unethical. Ethical concerns such as this have rarely troubled the fervently Christian power brokers at the Daily Oklahoman
however.

The campaign ads for a number of candidates in the primaries reached extreme depths of dirt in the last few days. Orza and Henry, candidates for the Democratic nomination for Governor, both engaged in last minute mud slinging. Walters and Boettcher, Democratic candidates for US Senate also slung a lot of mud. But the worst so far was a computerized telephone call from an unidentified male making accusations against a candidate named Cloud. The message on my voice mail said claimed that Cloud had been evicted from Little League games a couple of times in recent years. The caller concluded that Cloud would not be a good statesman because he can't control his temper. If this accusation is true it might be something worth discussing but to make such accusations the day before an election is reprehensible. Who did it?

In a very unusual journalistic move, the Tulsa World on September 14th actually named the Daily Oklahoman in one of its editorials. The editorial, "Mudslinging", was a criticism of candidate Brad Henry for "smearing" candidate Vince Orza. Both are Democrats battling for their party's nomination for Governor. The World points out in their editorial that the "dirt" on Orza was actually dredged up by the Daily Oklahoman which had endorsed Brad Henry. The Daily Oklahoman is Oklahoma City's daily newspaper but its banner touts it as the "State's Newspaper". The Daily Oklahoman is much, much more conservative than the Tulsa World which tends toward moderation. Normally, the World refers to the Daily Oklahoman as the "newspaper down the turnpike" but this time the World named names.

Americans get beat up a lot in the foreign media so it's a relief when someone comes to our defense. A Leftist Briton has some kind words in this article in The Spectator.

It is a mild evening in Oklahoma. The weather has changed in the last couple of days. Rain and cooler temperatures, and autumn, have arrived. This is the best time of year in Oklahoma. To all of you Oklahoma expats around the world - wish you could see your home now.

No, the Cubans I discussed in yesterday's post were not caught yet. At least Fox News hasn't reported on their detention yet. I watched the news until 2 am last night but either Castro gave the Highway Patrol the slip or Homeland Security is keeping their arrest a secret. Wouldn't that be weird if "my" Cubans ended up detained at Guantanimo on Cuba?