The Old Man and the Turkey Baster
I was talking to a 40-ish single mom today about an interesting senior citizen she became acquainted with recently while trying to lead him to the Gospel. The octogenarian is living in a retirement center in Oklahoma City - all but abandoned by his children. His children sold his house to pay for his rent and care at the retirement center and then disappeared. He told my friend he had no idea where his children were - he hadn't heard from them in five years. His only pleasure these days is growing vegetables for his own use and to give away to others at the Center. He's also apparently lonely for other forms of companionship as she described how he had made inappropriate proposals to her during her last proselytizing visit to him.
My friend was afraid to go back to visit him and had heard nothing of him for several weeks. Until today that is - when the police called to ask her if she knew the man. Seems he had been in her neighborhood trying to deliver vegetables to my friend but had gone knocking on the wrong door - the door of a very paranoid old lady that had him picked up by the police - after she beat him with a doorstop. Good thing she didn't have a gun.
Closer to home, the mullets next door decided to try to train their German Shepard to do tricks. Several men wearing cut-off t-shirts have been in their backyard all day trying to teach the dog to squirt them with a turkey baster filled with water. They never were successful (the dog is too smart) but they did kill an entire afternoon with the project. The project came to an end when Scrawny Mom came home and saw her well-teethed baster - and hit one of the men with it. This is much better than the Beverly Hillbillies anyday. Just wish there was an Ellie Mae in the family.