Friday, August 08, 2003


it was not. I was helping a reverend load some things into his SUV today when he bent over to pick up a box. To my horror I caught sight of his big butt crack glaring me in the face. I averted my eyes but not before the vision was seared into my brain. Try as I might I can't get the image of 6 inches of hairy fat ass out of my mind. My family went out to eat tonight but I just couldn't eat.

I've been seeing too much of this sort of cleavage lately. I wouldn't mind so much if it was attractive female posteriors - but it's not. It's invariably on some ugly-ass boy or man. Around the mall and in fast food eateries I've seen a parade of inadequately covered posteriors - of teenage boys walking around with their oversized jeans hanging around their thighs with boxer shorts displayed for all to see. I don't mean the boxer waistband - I mean the whole undergarment. Usually old, dirty, boxers. Sometimes the booty is exposed as well. What is this?

Is it possible to have your butt flapping in the wind and not know it? To find out I tried this at home. No, it is not possible to be oblivious to this condition unless you have no feeling at all in your butt. My conclusion is therefore that these people must know and must be doing this to us with full knowledge. This leads me to ponder what they are trying to signal.

Do ugly-ass males think that dirty boxers and flabby cheeks are attractive to others? Is it the equivalent of a lightning bug's glowing bum? Is this the new risque' haute couture? Or are the butt people showing their disdain for me and this signal is a kind of passive flip-off? Or are these just ignorant troglodytes too stupid to pull up their pants?

I just hope I can sleep tonight.

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